The episode we saw was crazy! This one guy sucked at all the other competitions and kept saying, "I'm only good with dead people." When he got to the murder scene, omg, he got every single creepy ass detail right. Things the police investigator hadn't even told the host about in his summary.
Well, that made me a believer.
The next day, on one of our many travel adventures into the bowels of the city, we found a sign that said "Special $10 Palm and Tarot Psychic Reading." It was down this alley between Chinatown and Little Italy. Big pushes me down the alley and refuses to let me back out.
The whole time she keeps yelling, "THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED!" I am being pushed to this giant bright light at the end of a dark tunnel. It was almost a near death experience - and by almost, the only thing missing was the absence of noise and the eerily calming feeling of peace that overcomes you. Mainly because Big was pushing/dragging me and yelling the whole time.The end of the tunnel leads to this open courtyard and the door to the psychic's apartment is open.
I knock on the door and this fat little boy ("no, he was round. he wasn't fat, he was completely spherical." - big) opens and invites us into this sketchy kitchen. Right away, this Italian woman named Nicole comes around the corner and asks us to sit down. A character reading is $10, one palm and past/present/future is $25, and both palms and face are $60.
Because I make poor life choices, I default to Big, who in this case, proves our relation. $25 later, she's "telling" me a series of statements.
Psychic: "You are an honest person."
Truth: First thing she says. WRONG. I enjoy compulsively lying on special occasions, like major Federal holidays and weekdays.
Psychic: "Are you going into medicine? Perhaps something in the medicine field of helping people."
Truth: First of all, the second sentence doesn't even make any sense. Secondly, I took 0 science/math classes in college.
Psychic: "You are going to help people. You are going to guide them."
Truth: Who would ever come to me for help? You'd have a better chance of asking Taser for help (see "New York is totally known for Mexican food" post)
Psychic: "You are going to meet someone named John or Jonathan."
Truth: You are going to eat.
Psychic: "Has someone from your past tried to contact you? No? Well, they will. Soon."
Truth: I burn bridges, I don't build them.
Psychic: "You are going to have a very successful marriage. I see 3-4 children."
Truth: Lady, have you seen the size of my head? No. No times 3-4.
Psychic: "Someone is very jealous of you."
Truth: By someone, you mean everyone.
Psychic: "I see California in your future."
Truth: I am Asian. You have like a 100% change of getting that right.
Psychic: "You had poor self-confidence in high school and now it's just starting to get better. But soon it will sky-rocket."
Truth: hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahhahahahahahahaha
Psychic: "You are outspoken. You say what you mean to people's face."
Truth: Yes, that's why I'm currently talking about you on my blog.
Later, when we finished (about 2 minutes later), Big and I tried so hard not to look at each other.
As I was leaving, she asked me where I was from. I said, "D.C." Her fat kid then steps in front of me and goes, "Atlantic City?"
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