I went on a special tour of the capitol today, mainly in hopes of finding an attractive and ambitious young legislative aide. Unfortunately, that was a fail. I never wandered away from the tour (the one time I fell behind, they joked that I needed to hold onto a rope like a preschooler). I also never really saw an attractive young aide that wasn't rushing somewhere or in a group. What was I supposed to do?
W: Hey group of dashing men who I can only assume hold some sort of power. Care to take me out to eat/marry me without a pre-nup? I can be the Hill to your Bill. Hinthint.
Omg side note. I just got on the metro train and the man in front of me reeks of marijuana. I think I might get a contact buzz by the time this ride is over.
Speaking of contact buzz, Michael Phelps lost his Kellogg endorsement. He is the best thing they could have asked for. What do people who are high want to eat? The crap they make. Also, if he can win eight gold medals while stoned... That man is superman.
Back to the original point. It is hard to type this coherently because a) my fingers are too fat for this Blackberry and b) I am pretty sure I am getting high off this man's BO.
I saw John McCain on the senate floor. He came in, quiet and unannounced, but his presence immediately drew everyone's attention. He has a commanding stature and he reeks leadership and authority and when I think of him, I imagine a tattoo of an eagle holding up an American flag and a bazooka in its sharp, American-made talons.
Wow. Seriously. Its like Harold and Kumar in here.
We went to lunch at the senate cafeteria buffet. I ate like a mother bear before hibernation season. I had trouble walking after, but I think I impressed everyone. Especially the lady staffers who picked at their lettuce while I ate plate after plate and topped it off by demanding ice cream.
Wow. I am light headed.
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