Perry's Deli

B, having read this blog, wanted to take me someplace that seemed to match the theme: food.

She worked a few blocks away from this place called Perry's Deli, rumored and advertised to have sandwiches as big as your head. Yes, I was told, even as big as my giant melon. I was warned ahead of time that there is absolutely NO cell phone use. Not just when you're ordering, but none in the deli at all.

B had suggested and strongly recommended the corned beef with Russian dressing on rye. I got that, with some provolone, lettuce and tomato. I have never seen a sandwich that size.

The reason why there seems to be a thousand pickles on my plate is when I tried to look around to see if I could use my cell phone camera, B dumped all hers onto my plate. Please also note that this is a picture of HALF. I saw the size of the sandwich and panicked and B said to just ask for the other half to go. Apparently it's fairly common for people not to finish. It was sandwich was cold and really really good. The only downside was that it's so big, it just falls apart. The corned beef isn't melt in your mouth, but it's tender and extremely flavorful. Evan got the double decker monstrosity with brisket.
Notice his sandwich falling apart. The giant thing still on the plate is HALF. Here are a couple more pictures to detail the size of these "sandwiches."

We got there at the perfect time. As soon as we sat down, the deli started to fill. The line stretched out the door. We were sitting next to all these business guys with their ties thrown over a shoulder or tucked into their shirts. I am pretty sure being able to finish your entire sandwich is a statement to your manhood. The guys at the table next to us kept watching each other's sandwiches, trying to match bite for bite. B and I were also one of 4 ladies in the entire establishment. One of the other ladies was working the register, and the 4th was sitting off in the corner booth with a guy. I am pretty sure they were breaking up.

What does that say about a relationship to break up in a deli during lunchtime, over a giant corned beef sandwich? "Hey, how about you stop talking now so I can finish my sandwich?" I at least hope she was dumping him. Then he could re-establish his manhood by finishing his sandwich and the menfolks would all admire and want to be him.

I thought about taking more pictures and had my cell phone in my hand when this HORRIBLE alarm went off. It was a fire alarm, a police siren, and a dying cat all combined and projected from speakers. Everyone stopped eating and looked around. I shoved my phone back into "Soul Rebel." Thankfully, it was because some guy in line was texting. His friend called him out.

Hahaha, I bet they are BFF.

Backtrack - Rewind

Rewind.

Probably due to the number of unhygienic places I've been in the past few weeks (I feel like there's always the smell of urine around me now), I've been suffering from some horrible urine-caused disease. Like monkeypox.

But thankfully, I kept careful notes of my Chicago adventures post-flight.

The train takes forever. Apparently, the tracks are undergoing major construction. I'm assuming normal construction delays would be a few minutes stopped here and there. Instead, Chicago has decided it's more efficient and effective to not only stop trains, but to keep them running no faster than 3 MPH. How do I know this? As the train from Midway got closer and closer to the loop (the trains come from all around Chicago and then merge on this giant track that loops around and above downtown), it got slower and slower... to the point that I watched a pedestrian below walk faster. I am also pretty sure that pedestrian had a walker.

I got to the stop I needed about 10-15 minutes before Becky and her lovely manfriend Evan got there. I headed down to street level and saw a lovely CVS. Not as if I'm speaking from personal experience or anything, but if you ever, for some reason, need a pair of underwear, some lady products, Shout wipes, etc., this is the place to go.

And after reading that last sentence, I realize what sort of situation that implies. NOT TRUE. Those were all necessities from separate trips and separate circumstances.

As I walk up to the checkout counter, who should come strolling in? Becky! I run over to her with my giant "Soul Rebel" bag on one shoulder, a box of lady things in the other hand, and hug her. The two of us are screaming and laughing and hugging and I look at Evan. I realize how absurd this looks. I wave at him, awkwardly, with my lady box hand. Becky takes one look at them and winks and "whispers" (nothing between me and B is ever just a "whisper") and says, "Oh, don't worry. I have tons of those I'm trying to give away."

We leave through the revolving door. B and Evan later explained to me that basically every building in Chicago uses revolving doors because in the winter, when it's absolutely freezing out, it keeps the warm air in and the cold air out. This is no good news for me since, as Big can attest to, I don't like touching doors. I always tell her to "push me through." I tell B the same thing, and she understands and gets a running head start to really give that sucker a big shove.

However, Evan and I have stopped walking because we see a man coming in... B runs on. As he is taking his first step, B slams into the door and sends it revolving, squishing him. Somehow caught with his lower body outside and his upper body inside, he's struggling to breathe and call out. B is confused and thinks the door is stuck (stuck on some trash, not stuck on a person. There's an 80% chance she wouldn't have pushed if she thought it was a person). She continues pushing until Evan points out that a man is stuck in the door. I am laughing and can't breathe. She apologizes. He thinks she is crazy and walks into CVS and hurries down an aisle.

One of the many reasons B and I are such good friends.